2020 thoughts on New Years Resolutions

We hope everyone enjoyed their holidays, and are now looking forward to the new year. With 2020 just days away, there will be talk of resolutions for the new year. Some, however, have given up on the idea of creating new years resolutions, with anxiety and disappointment around never having followed through with them in the past. Resolutions can bet stressful, if not created with some strategy.  Here are a few listed ideas to successfully begin resolutions for the new year.



1. One of the most popular recommendations for New Years Resolutions is to start small. Don't create a large goal with the expectation of completing it by February. Create a realistic goal for YOU, one that you can reach without stressing yourself out too much. Then if you are able to exceed your own expectations, you'll know your new limits, and have the confidence of reaching your original resolution to go even further. Also, don't try to tackle too many goals at once. Start with just a few, and if there are some leftovers, plan to try adding them in later when you have successfully mastered one of your originals. Again, having confidence in mastering a goal or two will give you more confidence about trying another.
2. Expect setbacks. It is simply part of life to have setbacks. It happens to everyone, and there is no way to expect when or how they will occur. So, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Feelings of frustration or shame may occur. It is okay to validate these feelings, but don't get stuck on them. Instead, look at the resolution you are having trouble with, and brainstorm ways you can better achieve them. Maybe you need to start smaller and build up to your original goal. If it's important to you, don't give up.
3. Have a buddy. Sometimes, goals are easier when you have someone motivating you to continue to work at it. If your goal is not something you can work in with someone else, telling someone about your goals may also serve as a good motivator. A friend, family member, or therapist are all people you may feel comfortable sharing your resolutions with. They will be able to hold you accountable for any progress or continuation of your work, and you may feel motivated to tell them about it. If you have setbacks, a buddy may help in brainstorming ways for you to rework your goals.
4. Plan, and keep track. Start small and set milestones across the months of the new year. Keep track of your progress by documenting it using photographs, lists, journals, or calendars. Creating a Bullet Journal is a fun and creative way of keeping track of both plans and document your resolutions. Use Google or Pintrest to look for ideas.
5. Create resolutions that you can control. Try using action-focused resolutions. For example, a popular resolution is "losing weight". However, this is often a tricky, frustrating resolution that is hard to control, as you cannot physically move the numbers on the scale. Instead, try a resolution such as working out 4 times a week, or eating a healthy lunch for 5 days a week. Focus on those actions, without obsessing about the scale. The change will come with time and will come about in many ways. For a resolution such as "I want to be happier", try action goals such as doing an activity you enjoy for 30 minutes each day, or be consistent with my therapy appointments every week.


New Years Resolutions can be stressful but also motivating and inspiring. Make the most of this new year!
Happy 2020 from Mind Body Co-op!

Ideas for Grounding yourself during the Holidays

You may have read our first holiday post, but here is another we are bringing back for those who experience emotions other than "jolly" during the holiday season.
The holidays at the end of the year have always brought an increase in activities, commitments, family gatherings and piled stress onto our already busy -sometimes stressful lives, and can shove you smack in the middle of all kinds of uncomfortable situations you tried to avoid throughout the previous 11+ months. To help with this, Jamie Klausing, our Director of Somatic Mindfulness Therapy, has some great ways to keep“grounded” throughout the demands of the holiday season.  They’re simple, they take only a few minutes, and they can make the difference between tolerating the end-of-the-year hoopla and enjoying it.
Definition:  “Grounding” is the act of connecting more deeply and completely to the body, strengthening the feeling of being inside the body and connected to the ground or earth.  Many grounding exercises help deepen our connection to anything that is supporting the weight of the body.  Other grounding exercises help deepen our connection to our 5 senses, using them to connect us with our body in general and sensitize our inner and outer world.
 
Explore any or all of these suggestions and see how it works out for you!

1. Walking meditation.  Step outside and go for a walk.  Notice your feet touching the ground, and pay attention to how the surface feels.  Imagine the earth below that surface and your feet connecting with it. Hear and feel the crunching of the leaves or the soft snow beneath your feet.
2. Go outdoors.  The fresh air (even if it’s very cold!) does wonders.  If possible take a few minutes in nature, sitting, relaxing and simply noticing the pace of your breathing.
3. Lie Down.  Whether it be on the floor, yoga mat, ground or your bed, feel gravity drawing you closer to the earth.  Take a few moments to scan your body for tension, from the tip of your toes to the top of your head.  Allow the sensation of the earth or the ground to draw the tension away from your body.
4. Mindful shower.  Water is not only cleansing but healing.  As you stand in the shower, feel the sensation of the water hitting the top of your head and your face, neck, and shoulders.  Pretend that it’s coming from a waterfall you’re standing beneath.  Then gaze at the water swirling down the drain.  Imagine your worries traveling down the drain with it.
5. Scented Shower.  Drip a few drops of essential oils on the tub or use a spray bottle to spritz the shower walls with your choice of aroma (peppermint, eucalyptus, lavender, your favorite).  Allow the stream and water to diffuse the scent while you shower and breath deeply to awaken your senses.
6. Stretch or exercise.  Five or ten minutes of gentle stretching or moderate exercise is all it takes to shift your mind out of your head.
7. Listen to music.  Yes, play your favorite songs.  Put on your headphones, listen to your best standbys, and let the music transport you.
8. Laugh.  Tell some jokes or put on a funny movie and share a moment of mirth with your family or friends. Laughter’s not only healthy—it’s contagious!
9. Breathe.  Inhale to a count of four and exhale (through your nose) to a count of four.  Then inhale to a count of four and exhale to a count of six.  Finally, inhale to a count of four and exhale to a count of eight. Repeat as often as you like.  You can do this while walking or sitting to help calm and center yourself.
10. Brew some tea.  There’s a lot to be said about the benefits of tea rituals.  Brew yourself a nice cup of hot tea.  Sit and savor its smell and taste.
11. Engage in Self-care. Whether at home or booking an appointment from an array of therapeutic bodywork offerings at Mind Body Co-op during the holiday season.

 Wishing you all happy holidays,
The Mind Body Co-op Team 

The Benefits of Group Psychotherapy

The benefits of group psychotherapy

Group Psychotherapy is a form of psychotherapy in which a small number of people meet together, weekly, under the guidance of a professionally trained therapist to help themselves and one another. 

Most of us have been and are members of many groups, including our family of origin, friend groups, sports teams, work groups and many other formal and informal groups. We grow and develop in these environments and, depending on the quality of our initial group experiences, we can develop relational patterns that range from healthy to destructive.  As we grow older and move farther away from our families of origin, we often find ourselves in hauntingly familiar roles, which can be mysterious, perplexing and often painful. It can be confusing when you were labeled as the “pushover,” in your family as a child and still find yourself having a hard time saying, “No” to anyone in your family…even as an adult, and then to have the same dynamics happen at work.  How does this happen?  Why do we find ourselves in similar roles, with family, work and friends…especially when they are painful?

These are important questions to ask ourselves.  Individual therapy can help you identify patterns, develop coping skills and strategies to navigate through tricky relationships.  However, I believe that individual psychotherapy has limitations. One major limitation is that therapists are limited to the client’s report of his/her  thoughts, feelings and behaviors of every situation.  Frankly, when we are in familiar patterns that are loaded with emotion, it limits our ability to be objective reporters, so our therapist gets only a portion of the details. 

At Mind Body Co-op, we think of group psychotherapy as the “lab” portion of your psychological recovery.  Group therapy helps people learn about themselves and others and begins the process of improving interpersonal relationships.  Additionally, group is very effective in helping group members understand their relationship with shame, resentment, anxiety, depression, co-dependency and so much more.  As a group psychotherapist, with time, I can begin to see the dynamics that are at play in the group, between and among the group members in a rich and dynamically different way. As a member of a group, you will find that you can experience yourself in action, engaging other members in old, familiar ways. Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, you can experience the response (to your thoughts, feelings and behaviors) from others, which is very likely different than what you may have predicted the response to be. 

What if you have been holding back and not showing others who you really are, and then find out in group that people actually like you more when you are fully authentic?

What if you have been keeping family secrets for years because of fear of your family disowning you, and/or the judgements of others? After disclosing the secrets in group, you find that the group members are grateful for your transparency and are not holding onto judgements? What if they still value you and want you to remain a part of the group?

These are just two examples of how group can provide opportunities for a reparative experience, wherein a group member can begin to make mental repairs to an old psychological wound.  Additionally, group members can examine their own beliefs and how that impacts their style of engagement with others, practice new ways of relating to others and experience some interpersonal and relational success that can be translated to relationships outside of group. 

If you are interested or know someone how wants to explore group psychotherapy, contact Mind Body Co-op.  We offer 20 groups per week that include many general process groups, as well as, theme oriented groups, including Trauma Recovery, DBT, Eating Disorder Recovery, Supervision/Consultation, Professional Development, Somatic Experiencing, Chronic Pain Relief, Reiki and NIA.

Kellie Rice, Psy.D., CGP

Clinical Director

Mind Body Co-op

Adjunct Professor Adler University-Chicago